How old would I have been before I touched a penis?

[Adrina, grown up woman:] When it comes to sex in my childhood, the episode I really remember was with my uncle Chip. He was my favorite uncle and I really loved him. He was always a lot of fun, his whole life. He was really happy and fun and a good person to be around. He was known as the fun person in the family and was the youngest brother of my mother and all her sisters and the only boy in the family. So he was loved by everyone. I didn't see him that often because he lived in Tennessee. But when he was 16, he came to stay with us for a year or two to go to high school in my town. I was about ten. We felt more like equals in spite of the difference in age. Of course, he was much younger than any other of my uncles, who had married his sisters. He was such a young person and a fun person that he was just more like a cousin, and a loving cousin. My girlfriend, Aggi, who had been my friend since second grade, also had a favorite uncle who was staying with her, so we were bragging about our uncles. Hers was a little older than Chip. With two bedrooms and that big family, we were a bit crowded. I don't know if anyone else was staying with us, but we were trying to find beds for everybody. There was a couch that made out into a bed in the living room, and it ended up with my mother putting my uncle and me to bed together. So he and I were sleeping in that bed.

In the middle of the night, I woke up and suddenly felt my hand holding his cock! I thought, "How did that happen?" I let go and rolled over, pretending I was asleep. Pretty soon, he reached over and got my hand and put it back on his cock again. And I let him. It was okay with me. I liked it. Then he started playing with me, fingering my genitals. It felt good. I guess it was really arousing to me because I really enjoyed it. We were doing all this under the covers and it went on for quite some time. We did not have intercourse, but we were just touching each other. His touch was gentle. I don't remember if there was any kissing. We were having so much fun that we didn't want to get up in the morning. My mother saw that we didn't want to get up. I don't know what else she saw, but she never let us sleep together again because she got a little suspicious. I think this was the first time I touched a penis. I think it was also the first time I felt sexual arousal. (I didn't masturbate. A lot of girls say that they did it at their young age, but I didn't really think about it.) It was enjoyable. I would not have initiated it, but I went along with it and I enjoyed it. I was very innocent. After that night and that morning, I don't recall any difference in our relationship. We didn't talk about it and we didn't do anything sexual again. Not that I recall, anyway. He remained my favorite uncle and I always felt close to him. We loved each other. I loved him so much. [...]

I think my childhood experiences were wonderful. They were all positive experiences. It didn't traumatize me at all. It was not abusive and I was not a victim. I was a willing participant. I think it's our society that has made people into victims and made people into abusers. Why should it be such a horrible experience? It wasn't for me. It was not anything I wished hadn't happened.

source: 'How old would I have been before I touched a penis?'; SOLR [SOL Research] interview, in-person, audio and video recorded; www.consentingjuveniles.com/Case_Narrative?case=Adrina; Date unknown; Text copied form Consenting Juveniles on 19 April 2018