I am an incarcerated 19-year-old boy lover

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I am an incarcerated 19-year-old boy lover. I am incarcerated for crimes not relating to my sexual desires. I am a recovering cocaine addict who wishes to lead a "normal" productive life. I strongly support NAMBLA and the beliefs that the association stands for.

When I was 13, I had a relationship with a 40-year-'young' man. We shared many truly wonderful experiences together only to be separated by the police. My lover (Larry) had had many contacts with youth between the ages of 13 and 15. He was not discreet in most of these and one of the kids informed the police of his activities. They therefor staked out Larry's house and observed my comings and goings along with the comings and goings of other youths. Whenever we left the house together, we were followed. We were aware of our being observed but didn't care due to the fact that we were not doing anything (at times of observation) that were illegal.

One day while walking home from school, I noticed quite a few police vehicles parked in front of Larry's house. I went to the house to find out what was happening. They asked me my name. I told them and they requested to speak with me. I told them that I needed my mother's permission and walked off. I knew that Larry was working so I immediately ran home and called him. He told me that he loved me and would see me again in the future.

The police eventually came to my mother's house to question me. They had pornographic pictures that Larry had taken along with a video cassette depicting myself and a few other youths engaged in sexually explicit activities. I told them it wasn't me and refused to answer any further questions. Larry had moved to parts unknown, so they were unable to arrest him. The local newspaper caught on real quickly. It was reported that I, a 13-year-old kid, was the suspected ring leader of a kiddie porn ring. This devastated my family. I was ridiculed by my peers and constantly degraded.

I managed to get over it, pretty much. I had many, many experiences of my own after that. One thing I found to be true: You can never trust your love completely! You must be cautious in everything you do. Something may happen to your young love to make him tell on you. I am not writing this to scare you, but to make you aware.

source: Letter by Johnny; NAMBLA Bulletin, Vol. 11, n. 7; October 1990