When society mistakes pedophiles for molesters

Graham is a young man living with a painful secret: he's sexually attracted to children. He's tried to get help but therapists want nothing to do with him. Despite what many might think, he's not a child molester. Graham, whose name has been changed to protect his identity, first realized that he was sexually attracted to children when he was about 12 years old. "I noticed that I was getting older and the girls I thought about were either not getting older or in fact becoming younger," he told Life Links in an interview.

It was hard for Graham to come to terms with his sexuality, especially during puberty. "I felt like I was carrying a dark, empty place deep within me, but that everyone could see it if they looked hard enough." Eventually, when he was 17, Graham got very drunk and told his mother about his sexuality over the phone. "I don't remember the conversation. I just remember the need to let things out." While Graham says his mother "accepted it," she told him she did not want to know any details. From that day on his pedophilia "could not be spoken of." [...]

What Graham experiences is called pedophilic disorder and is characterized by a persistent desire for sexual contact with a prepubescent child or children. Diagnosis requires that an individual has either acted on their urge or been actively distressed by it. It's unknown how many people suffer from pedophilic disorder but estimates suggest that one in 25 men may actually meet the criteria. Despite the often accepted belief that sexuality isn't a matter of choice, stigmatization of people with pedophelia is high, with little distinction made between being sexually attracted to a child and acting on that desire. Describing child molesters simply as pedophiles, as Britain's notorious Daily Mail tabloid for instance did in August 2014, weakens a distinction that is otherwise crucial in how we judge a person - by their actions, not their desires.

source: Article 'When society mistakes pedophiles for molesters' by Kate Ferguson; www.dw.de/when-society-mistakes-pedophiles-for-molesters/a-18104211; DW.DE; 2 December 2014